Archive for July, 2008


For Kendall and Ruth

Here are the tracks that I want to go into the installation. The (Red Mix) will be side A, and (The (B)ackroom) will be side B. Enjoy!

The (Red Mix) Demo version

(The (B)ackroom Mix) Demo version


I got nothing today

It’s the 4th of July….not exactly a popular holiday in the UK.


(This is what i am listening to non stop right now.)

Jimmi Moon’s: Lovelane


Watch: David Bowie (featuring Nine Inch Nails) I’m Afraid of Americans

Knock yourself out.


If I do this, then I won’t be doing what I need to….

I think it’s worth noting that I have been at my desk since 11 this morning and yet I have gotten everything but what I needed to get done, done.

I am curious if other people who make work, (whatever medium) face the same crippling procrastination when they are starting a new thing? Is this like being a writer and staring at the blank page? Making the first mark is always the hardest, but once a mark is made there is a sense that something has lifted and then things just happen.

So why am I so hesitant to make a mark and get started on record 2?


‘Dream machine, did you get everything you asked for?’-Mark Farina

Well, did you?

I sort of struggle with writing about certain subjects that touch upon my interests and research, and the only good question that can come from this is ‘why?’ I think a lot of it has to do with a supposed commitment I have with my own personal understanding of what the written word means. Some people can turn on the TV and simply believe that everything they are being told is true, while I want to look at something written and believe in its integrity and somehow hold on to a sense of the genuine. So when something fucking real happens, I struggle with the best way to contextualise it, because I need it to mean something, if only for myself.

My Bloody Valentine.


Didn’t say enough? I first listened to My Bloody Valentine when I was at boarding school. Young and dumb and full of hormones a mate of mine passed on a well-worn pink CD and told me it would change my life and help me sleep. ‘Change my life and help me sleep’, I couldn’t help but run back to my room, put on the CD in and crank it to 11, sleep be damned, I wanted life changing. What L gave me that day was My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless album and I was instantly hooked. From the first note of Only Shallow to the last note of Soon, it was just the most immediate, honest, awesome sound experience. When you’re at that age you are kind of hung up on lyrics and their meanings, and for the life of me I couldn’t tell you what MBV were saying, I would just hum along and close my eyes and lay on my bed and fall into the tunes. My Bloody Valentine became a soundtrack for a lot of my first experiences – you know the formative ones – but they were always a band that existed just outside of reality for me because they broke up before I was even able to get into them. All my adulation was reserved for my headphones and my bedroom.

Friday night the 20th of June all that changed. It’s now 2008 and MBV have reformed and are touring. I was able to score tickets for myself, G, her boyfriend D, and my friend GB. GB, like myself got into MBV while at boarding school and has a similar understanding of how that context and music go together. G and D have listened to the occasional track when I have put MBV on a mix and were excited, but I could tell that G wasn’t too sure what to expect. When there is so much history, stepping back and understanding someone’s viewpoint can only be done abstractly, and so I was like: ‘Dude, are you excited?’, probably one to many times for G.

Walking into the Roundhouse in London, I was so ready and the only thing I knew to expect was loud, shit your self kind of loud, and I wanted it. When Shields ripped into the first chord of Only Shallow I thought I might lose my whole being. Suddenly what had only existed in my head was live and in the flesh. The mental became the physical and the sound was powerful enough to push and pull at you, the fabric on my trousers was wavering in the wake.

It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life I am going to go as far to even say ineffable. There were moments where it felt like two little hands had reached out from the speakers and grabbed my ears and formed a direct connection between me and the music, no one else was in my field of vision, Christ I am not even sure if I was aware of seeing anyone. It was like being stoned, and tripping and on E at the same time. Questions of time became no more. It was simply about being pulled into this complete aural experience.

How do you explain the feeling of being high without any substances being present and/or ingested? Of course one can speak to the phenomenon of something creating an experience that equals being high, but what happens when the non-narcotic becomes the narcotic and actually make you high? Does the sound actually become the narcotic? What then is present in MBV that generates this type of experience for its audience? Seriously, I was fucked up on the music. Was it the volume? I am hesitant to believe that something that simple would be the one and only thing. I think it’s the complexity of the music, Shields is one of the most innovative guitar players of his generation, and has created a way of bending and shaping notes that others can only imitate poorly. So is this the main ingredient in the MBV alchemy?


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